It is October 29th. It is snowing. Seriously, WTF!!!!!
Recently I went to the local bookstore, which happens to be the Harvard Co-op Bookstore, which is 3 stories and has a fantastic selection. Walking into a bookstore always makes me feel the same way, which is “I want to read THAT… and THAT… Oh, and THAT… And THAT looks awesome… and I’ve always wondered about THAT…” and so and so forth. I try to read a book a month. For some this seems pathetic, but for me it’s all I can reasonably handle and also do knitting and spinning and do the amount of exercise I want to do, and have clean clothes and reasonably clean floors and no fuzz growing in my bathroom. I thought to myself, “Self, in like the next 10 years, how much can I learn?” And I thought before I did this tiny bit of math it must be like half the bookstore. Like in 10 years I should be able to read a LOT. Like most of the books I’d want to read in that time. And guys? 12×10? That is 120 books. 120. One Hundred and Twenty piddly books. This is NO WHERE NEAR what I’d like to be able to learn in that amount. Not even close.
This seems to come up everywhere. Travel. There are so many places to see in the US, nevermind all the places I’d like to go in the whole world. So many things I’d like to learn how to do. I’d love to learn to draw and paint, really become a good photographer, spin MOUNTAINS of yarn. I have projects going through my head all day long, not helped one bit by Kate Davies recent post of her Shetland weekend with a photo of tables of fair isle knitting swatches.
This leaves me feeling a little disjointed, overwhelmed, rushed. Even if I quit my job, after winning some billion dollar lottery that I don’t play, and somehow stretched the day to 30 hours, I would still not be able to scratch the surface. None of these are things I want to own, I can’t buy these experiences or skills. With my previously mentioned multi-tasking tendencies, I have this feeling that if I just scheduled it right, I could knit that sweater while reading this book while the laundry is doing and the dinner is cooking and planning to go somewhere cool… and this leaves me doing a lot of things but maybe not experiencing it fully, which is the point of doing the thing, right? And this is just the trivial spare time stuff, forget career choices…
And this brings me to the real question which is what is the point of all of these activities, anyways? The big question that has been rolling around in my head for months is the question of what is worth doing, both as paid employment or spare time activities? Is something worth doing if the whole point of is just that it makes me happy? Is it worth doing if it provides a certain amount of income? Is it worth doing because it helps someone else, or is something not worth doing because it only pleases myself? Even if I figured out how to do everything I want to do and learn everything I want to learn, what exactly is the point of all that? I know the answer is a balance of these and other reasons, and balance is not something I’m great at. I tend to make things harder than they are, and I’m thinking that this “finding a balance” thing is one of them. Next month I turn 30. This is fine. I wouldn’t do my early 20’s over again if you paid me (well, maybe for the aforementioned billion dollar lottery) and am happy where I am. I just always thought I’d have it “figured out” by now and I’m still trying to figure out what exactly it is I’m trying to figure out.
None of this has a point, and I apologize for the lack of photos and profusion of rambling, but I thought, maybe, if I spit this out into the black hole a new perspective might be spit back to me. I promise to return to yarn and warm things next time!
Been busy, here’s a few things that are up here Chez Moi:
1. Cookies. There are a very few fruits and veggies that are still truly seasonal, at least around the Boston area. Asparagus is available all year round. So are tomatoes (granted they’re sad tomatoes). But pumpkins and cranberries are two fruits are still seasonal. You can only available a few weeks a year. This to me makes them better, you appreciate them so much more. We’ve had pumpkins up the wazzoo. We’ve had pumpkin soup, pumpkin and pancetta pizza (I highly recommend this one), and yesterday there was Pumpkin and Pecan cookies.
2. You’ll notice I also got a clicker remote for my camera. This allow me to take riveting photos of things like me watching cookies cook! And sitting in a chair!! And whatever else I do.
3. I’ve been spinning a bunch, there will be new yarns up in the shop and hopefully continuing to be be added throughout the fall, so keep checking in!
3. And Acer is coming along, almost done with the body hopefully will be closing the shoulders this weekend.
I like it. I’m not sure I love it, but I at least like it.
My paternal grandmother was, as it is told, a great seamstress. When it was time to sell their house after my grandfather died, my dad found things in the attic. There were plastic army men. Also a complete spirograph set, a full complete 64 crayon box of Crayolas. Of course, every one was there in the appropriate box. My dad as an only child never lost anything, and didn’t have any siblings to lose things for him. To this day when his comb or nail clipper or “special” whatever it is is lost, it clearly must have been one us meddling kids. He doesn’t lose things like that. Along with photo albums. In the basement were canned goods and salt (my grandmother couldn’t pass up a sale. The price and date of each purchase was of course marked on the carton.) There were hand planes for woodworking and the first and only old fashioned hand drill I’ve seen. Like an electric drill for drilling holes, but not electric and considerably more work. And my most prized possession was the box of buttons. It was this great cigar box type box, and inside was my grandmothers button collection, as well as the chalk fabric markers for marking hems and darts, and a few needles. I can remember big plastic buttons and little metal ones. It wasn’t a huge collection but I thought it was great. I was also 7, and somewhere along the way from 7 to 29, the box has been lost. I have a high hope that it is somewhere in a box at my parents house in the attic, which is entirely likely given the number of unopened boxes in there. But the fact remains that at the moment, I have no idea where it is and am actually deeply sad about that.
Over the weekend we went to Newburyport again, home of my favorite antiques barn, where I’ve previously purchased a jar of leather buttons which I love and have used. This time, as I have a sweater that will be hopefully done in a few weeks which will need buttons, I decided to buy another jar and hope something in there would help. From the first time I saw these jars of buttons in and antique shop, I fell in love with them. I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve stopped myself from buying jars and jars of them. Aside from being very useful, I think they just look so nice in the jars! Besides. I bought a giant jar of buttons with hundreds of buttons in there for $25. While the non-button-buying public may not appreciate this, I can tell you that buttons are not in fact cheap and this is in fact a terrific deal.
And as if to give a sign that it was the right idea, while picking through them yesterday, I found not one, not two but 15 buttons the exact shade and shape I would have gone out in search of for my new sweater!!
Maybe someday I’ll find Babcias buttons again, but in the meanwhile, I’ll just try not to lose these.
Last weekend was spent at the beach where, while it apparently rained everywhere else and the forecast said the same for the beach, it was sunny and not too windy and quite nice! I went for a walk to the lighthouse with my camera, with the intention of getting some exercise and working on my mad photography skilz. Somewhere along the way I switched to black and white and it was so fun I just kept going…
I always feel very Elizabeth Bennett when I go for these walks. The idea of going for a walk because you like being outside and have nothing better to do pleases me. I just need a long skirt to muddy along the way and it would be perfect.
I also did a ton of knitting, and Acer is well on it’s way. Once again, I’m living on the edge and should have ‘just enough’ yarn, so cross your fingers!! So far it’s entertaining enough to keep going and take some attention.
Of course Monday night I went and got sick (sadly, my walk appeared to have more of a Jane Bennett effect). I have proceeded from the “wicked headache and totally out of it achey sore throat” part of this cold onto the “dripping snot and not fit for society” part. Hopefully this passes soon.